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Diablo Cody: on being a screenwriter

Diablo Cody: on being a screenwriter

Vulture invited Diablo Cody to talk about being a screenwriter - and parts that nobody tells you about.

1. You will be held accountable for your words.
Writers drink, and therefore we often exhibit poor judgment. In 2007, when Juno came out, people were wearing rhinestone-embellished trucker caps and I was making bad decisions, too. I said a lot of stupid things in interviews because I figured no one was paying attention — who cares about screenwriters, generally? But my big mouth got me into trouble countless times. As a “visible” writer, you have to learn to conduct yourself like an actor. Say what you’ve been coached to say. Don’t talk shit about anyone. Behind closed doors, I’m still a drunk train wreck, but in interviews, I try to channel Sandra Bullock or someone else the public finds charming.

2. You will be a big deal for about 10 seconds.
Since I “broke through” (ugh) six years ago, countless younger, funnier, smarter writers have flocked to Hollywood and TOOK MY JERB. That’s the nature of this business. Just ask any of the actresses who were on the cover of Vanity Fair’s Hollywood Issue in the nineties. Believe me, they all want to murder Emma Stone right now. You will be replaced. Keep your head down and work as much as you can.

3. You can make money doing things nobody knows about.
I occasionally do uncredited “secret” rewrites on scripts. I like that, because then people who would ordinarily avoid my projects are tricked into buying tickets for films I’ve worked on. I entertain frat guys without their consent!

4. But you have to say no to people constantly.
I turned down a pretty great job last week, and I thought long and hard about it because, Oh God, what kind of spoiled asshole have I become that I wouldn’t do this? But when I thought about the time commitment that it required and what it would pay me and how it could take me away from my children — I just couldn’t do it. My 27-year-old self would hit the roof if she knew I turned it down.

5. Meetings get way better.

I have friends who are lesser-known writers, and they get very nervous before a pitch because they feel like they’re in service of the people that they are pitching to. Whereas sometimes when I go in and pitch, it’s like being an honored guest. The assumption is there that they’re probably interested in what I have to say. People don’t look out the window. Also, you get to park right in front of the studio instead of having to go way off to P6.

6. Everyone you know will suddenly aspire to be a screenwriter.

I’ve never heard of a dozen people applying to dental school because their friend or family member became an orthodontist. But if you become a screenwriter and have success at it, at least five of your non-writing acquaintances will spontaneously decide to try writing a screenplay. And you know what? I don’t blame them. I genuinely believe I have the best job in the world, other than Katy Perry. Besides, it’s not like I know what the fuck I’m doing. Go ahead, guys! Take a crack at it!

7. The guy who refused to date you in college comes asking for a job.

The best.

American Psycho: The Musical

American Psycho: The Musical

Book your tickets NOW.

American Psycho is getting a musical adaptation - yup - an all dancing, all singing stage version of Patrick Bateman is coming. And more - the cast behind it include music and lyrics by Duncan Sheik (!) and Matt Smith (Doctor Who!) is lined up to play lead.

Set to run from December-January . You know you want to be there.

*jazz handed knife throw*

Movie Monday: Maze Runner pushed to September 2014

Movie Monday: Maze Runner pushed to September 2014

Some bad news for fans of James Dashner’s The Maze Runner …

The planned feature adaptation won’t hit until September next (instead of February as planned) Wes Ball (Maze Runner director) hit twitter on Friday to announce it:

Good news and bad news y’all. Bad news, you have to wait a bit longer. Good news, the movie and marketing can be the best it can be now. These things aren’t my choice, but I 100% agree with fox’s decision. Just imagine the cool stuff we can do with a little extra time.

Seven reasons to smile this morning…

Seven reasons to smile this morning…

It’s Wednesday. You’ve had a long week already.

How about some things to smile about?

  • Simon Kinberg - writer from X-Men: Days of Future Past - has been drafted to script the Fantastic Four reboot script. Matthew Vaugn is already on as co-writer. And with Josh Trank in charge - he of Chronicle fame - this could be REALLY good.
  • The long anticipated reboot of The Legend Of Conan is happening. AND it will star Arnold Schwarzenegger. (With the very lovely Andrea Berloff writing)
  • The World of Warcraft film adaptation is GO! Duncan Jones‘ film based on the MMO game lands December 2015.
  • They really are casting The Flash in Arrow. (If you’ve not been watching that series, you’re missing out on trashy superhero TV)
  • The C.S. Lewis Company are developing The Silver Chair as the next film in the Narnia series…
  • Saoirse Ronan confirmed she is up for a part in Star Wars VII
  • And last, but certainly by no means, least… David Levithan is in Ireland and the UK this week! (GO! GO! GO!)

How about a bonus reason?

  • Aline Brosh McKenna (writer of Devil Wears Prada) is scripting a live-action Cruella de Vil feature film for Disney. Whoop!
Agents of SHIELD: telling it by the numbers

Agents of SHIELD: telling it by the numbers

Last week saw the first hit of Joss Whedon’s Marvel Agents of SHIELD… with a new episode landing tomorrow in the US last weeks debut hit some decent numbers.

Though with ad spend on every subway, in every taxi and bus, on street corners and billboards - not to mention the spending that came before the TV series with the Marvel feature films …

The US figures - according to Nielsen - 12.1 million people watched it live. Another 3.7 million watched on DVR. Another 4.7 million watched the repeat on Thursday. And 1.6 million streamed online. A grand total of 22.1 million viewers and counting.

For comparisson Breaking Bad’s finale reached 10.3m … while Big Bang Theory‘s new season premiere broke 20 million in six hours.